jillathome.com

Most women who choose to stay home with their children realize the big impact they are making in their children’s lives, but many outsiders looking in would think otherwise.  Our society tends to make light of the thankless job we do.  This includes some of our closest friends, old co-workers, and even extended family members.  On top of this is the decline of friendships of the stay at home mom when her friends continue to work outside of the home.  I found this to be very true.  When working outside the home I had more time to be around adults, therefore, having something to talk about during times out with these friends.  But after having been a stay at home mom for so long now (11 years) I wouldn’t know what to talk about with these old friends.  It’s good to have a couple of friends that have that stay-at-home situation, too, so you can talk on an even plane.

Staying sane as a stay at home mom is top priority, too.  You have to have a plan for your day and week.  Having a routine set in place keeps me from feeling overwhelmed.  I’m not nearly as organized as I would like to be, but enough to keep this home up and running 24/7.  I would think I would have tons of time to do stuff, especially since the kids are a lot more independent and older now, but life only seems to be getting more hectic each year.  Just having certain days to get things done really helps.  For instance, my grocery day is Tuesday and I pretty much haven’t swayed from that day unless I have to be home for someone who’s sick.  So, sticking to your routine will help you feel less stressed out, too.

Another tip is to make sure you get some mom time.  This time is only for you to splurge on yourself.  I know a lot of you think there isn’t any time, but there is.  You just have to find it.  It could be in the evenings after dinner or when the kids are taking naps or in bed for the night.  Then, you have to do something nice for yourself to relax a little or just indulge in something that you normally would not indulge in, such as a nice soak in the tub, or a little tv time.  I like to read a newspaper and drink some tea if the weather isn’t so good.  Otherwise, I like to walk around in the garden or take the dog for a walk.  Sometimes I just play a computer game online.  Reading a book or making jewelry are some other ideas.  And when stay-at home life gets to be too much, I make sure I find a sister or a friend to go out to lunch or dinner and shopping or a movie.  Our sanity is important to keep if we want to be good parents and wives or husbands.

So, these are some tips for stay-at-home moms (and dads).  Our spouses and children are always on our minds, but we have to take good care of ourselves first if we are going to be there for them.  And this also includes keeping ourselves healthy.  So, take care and have a great day, moms and dads.

As a mom of two youngsters, I sometimes I feel as if I’m drowning in the activities surrounding the kids’ schedules.  Getting them to and from activities.  Collecting everything they need for that activity before we leave.  Remembering to pick them up on time.  My brain seems to be in overdrive some days.  This week, for example, there was an activity every day.  I’d get home from dropping them off to do a couple of household chores, perhaps even take a deep breath, only to have to get back in the car and get them again.  Now I know what moms and dads mean when they say they feel like a taxi cab service!  And the ATM!!   If it’s not lunch money or fundraiser money they need, it’s money for dance costumes, music books, books to read, and  registration dues.  That’s all on top of having to feed and clothe them, right?  I didn’t think it was going to be this expensive!!  I think we all should have a good laugh right about now at my naivety.  Our oldest son is only in band, but he also participates in our church’s youth group.  Our younger daughter is in her second year of dance and Girl Scouts.  I didn’t think we were letting them have too many extracurricular activities, but they seem to add up - quick.  They aren’t in any sports at all.  I can’t imagine if our son wanted to be in football, or heaven forbid, a travelling soccer or hockey team.  Being a stay-at-home mom doesn’t make it much easier.  All the activities fall in the evenings after school - so that’s our busy time.  I feel like dinner is starting to take a back seat a little, then the dishes, especially on Mondays when our girl has dance so early after school.  I thought things might ease up a little when they got more independent.  But along with independence comes the desire to be more social and active.  This is good, but remember, moms and dads, it doesn’t come too cheap.  I guess there are free things to have them do, like play basketball and ride their bikes with their friends.  Also, remember, allow just one or two activities, otherwise they will feel overwhelmed and their grades may suffer.  Plus, they still need mom and dad time, and time to play with their siblings and friends in a nonstructured atmosphere.  I believe this type of playtime brings out their creative and sensitive sides.  As a mom, I enjoy the challenge of being the manager of this household.  It’s an important part of my job.  Good luck to you on your busy schedules, too.

No matter what kind of mom or dad you may be - work at home, working outside of the home, or the stay at home kind, you feel the rush of dinnertime when everyone is cranky and calling out “I’m hungry!”  or “What’s for dinner?”.  The simple job of throwing veggies, grains, and meats into a crock pot in the morning really puts ease into your nighttime dinner routine.  The cooking smells may even put a curious eye toward the kitchen to see what’s cookin’.  Not only can those nifty electric gadgets make your dinners, they can make you breakfast in the morning!!  According to Susan Frick Carlman’s article on NaperSun.com, one woman she interviewed keeps several different sizes to accomodate her family during all meals of the day.  I’ve never thought to try this.  It would be nice to wake up with a warm meal all ready in the morning.  Another mom states that it’s good for all the the seasons of the year since it doesn’t heat up the house in the summer.  So, these are some advantages to using your crock pot.  Dig it up out of that high cupboard or in the basement where you stashed it after you received it as a gift on your wedding day and start using it today.  The biggest advantage of all is that you will be feeding your family healthy, tasty food and not junky fast food.  Isn’t that our ultimate goal?  The raising of healthy families?   Let’s check out the recipes that Carlman recommends.  They sound absolutely wonderful!! slow cooker recipes

I’m a stay at home mom and I can’t seem to find the time to do these posts.  Why is this happening?  I didn’t think I was that busy this weekend.  Yet, I was.  I realize my last post was quite few days ago.  My best time to write is either after the kids have gone to bed at night or soon after they go off to school.  Why I can’t think when they are around is not too much of a mystery, I guess.  They, and my husband, are a distraction to me.  My brain gets muddled.  Does yours?  I can’t seem to concentrate.  I’m going to have to continue posting my blogs during the quiet times I do have.  Which is during the day, usually.  This one is being done during the morning hours after the kids go to school, yet, only one of them went to school today.  My youngest is sick and this is where being a stay at home mom has it’s benefits once again.  I don’t have to call in sick, too.  Thankfully I’ve never had to do that for a job.  It must be difficult for working moms whose children get sick.  My sister called me Friday and asked me to do a favor for her that evening because she was going to be working late, probably very late.  She had work to get caught up on because her highschooler was very sick 3 days that week - and she had to be with her and take her to more than one doctor.  My job as a stay at home mom gets behind when I’m helping out others sometimes, but nothing where I might lose income or get a boss mad at me.  Less stress is always better.  You are a happier person for it and that spreads to the people you care for and love.

Here are some tips on whether your kid is too sick to send to school.

Sick child - too sick for school? - WebMD

Hi there.  If you read my “About” page you will see that it has always been a fact of life with my husband and I for one of us to be the stay-at-home parent.  If I were to become the main breadwinner in the family, then he would gladly stay home with the kids and has even said that he would like it a lot.  He does things different than I would do in that role, but it’s a good thing.  He’s a lot more organized that I am.  I’m always a sidetracked mom.  Maybe that’s where dads may be the better parent.  They are usually less distracted and can stay more focused on the task at hand, at least that is how my hubby is.

Men who stay at home with their kids probably experience all of the same stigma as modern women who choose to stay home to care for their children.  The social groups that they have known in the past such as their old co-workers, extended family members, and maybe just friends that are still working outside the home may ridicule them behind their backs or even to their faces.  This hurts and stay-at-home dads as well as moms don’t deserve this sort of slap in the face.  We may be outnumbered but that doesn’t mean we are in any way less important in our world.  Two income families have become the norm in our country, paving the way for the American dream, yet, at what expense?  Maybe we, as a country, could rethink this stay-at-home, thing.

Here is an article from stay-at-home dad, Joe Melton, in the Statesville R&L, that I found to be very insightful to the thoughts and feelings of a practically extinct family life - with a little role reversal.

Stay-at-home dads deserve more respect

Halloween is just around the corner, so here is a really yummy-looking recipe for peanut butter and caramel apples.  Maybe you are a stay at home mom who wants to start a new tradition at home with the kids.   This recipe calls for crunched up peanut butter filled sandwich cookies.  I’m guessing you can put just about any kind of cookie crumbs you want on the caramel apple.  I remember making caramel apples with my mom and brother and sisters when I was a kid.  It was always a special treat.  They were fun and messy to eat!!  And caramels and apples are in good supply right now, especially with it being the apple season and Halloween in just a couple of weeks.  Why not surprise them tonight and let them help mom make a fun treat?  I know it’s not the weekend, but who says you can’t have fun any day of the week?  The kids will love making these with their parents, hey, moms and dads, you can have one, too.  Yum!

Peanut Butter and Caramel Apples

INGREDIENTS

* 6 Granny Smith apples
* 6 wooden sticks
* 1 (14 ounce) package individually wrapped caramels, unwrapped
* 2 tablespoons water
* 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 3 cups chopped peanut butter filled sandwich cookies
* 4 ounces milk chocolate, chopped
* 4 ounces white chocolate, chopped

DIRECTIONS

1. Insert wooden sticks 3/4 of the way into the stem end of each apple. Place apples on a cookie sheet covered with lightly greased aluminum foil.
2. Combine caramels and water in a saucepan over low heat. Cook, stirring often, until caramel melts and is smooth. Stir in the vanilla. Dip each apple into the caramel and gently run apples around insides of saucepan to scrape off some of the caramel. Scrape excess caramel from the apple bottoms using the side of the saucepan.
3. Spread the chopped cookies out on a dinner plate. Roll caramel apples in the cookies and place on the aluminum foil. Place the milk chocolate and white chocolate into separate microwave-safe bowls. Heat in the microwave at 30 second intervals, stirring between each, until melted and smooth. Drizzle milk chocolate over the apples, then drizzle the white chocolate over the milk chocolate. Refrigerate until ready to serve.

Are you a stay-at-home mom or dad and have been feeling the pinch in your wallet from the poor economy right now?  The prices of everything from fuel to food have been stretching most everyone’s paycheck.  Staying home is not an option for some families now.  Moms who stay home are feeling like they need to make some income to supplement their families that are growing.  Some activities get cancelled in the process.  Moms and dads don’t have the cash for entertainment, either.  This has happened to us lately.  I feel as though I need to get a job.  I have been a stay at home mom for more than 11 years now.  Our kids are both in school full time and funds aren’t growing right now.  We are stagnant in trying to save for a rainy day.  Just the other day I told my husband that if my business idea doesn’t take off then I would probably look for a part-time job that I would be able to do and still be home in time for the kids - at least until summer.  We’ll see how it goes.

I read an article by Kathy Kirby on The Star Press.com that explains how two stay-at-home moms handle this exact same situation.  They each approached it differently.  We moms have to do what we have to do, right?  It may give you some ideas, too.

http://www.thestarpress.com/article/20081019/LIFESTYLE/810190305

I recently read an article written by Cheryl Solimini for Women’s Day about 5 common misconceptions of being a good mom.  They are as follows: a mom feels positive towards children all the time, a mom bonds quickly with child after he or she is born, a good mom can make it all work, a good mom takes a lot of time to play and be with her children, a mom should be in a big mom club. Cheryl Solimini goes on to tell us that it’s perfectly normal for a mom to have some negative feelings towards her children and that it may be better not to hold in those feelings and lash out later.  She also explains that it can take some time to bond with your new baby and that feelings of guilt are common in women that take longer.  As far as juggling job, kids, and other factors of life she says we tend to compare ourselves with other moms and put too much pressure on ourselves to be a supermom.  Cheryl says that less is more when it comes to spending time with the kids.  About spending a lot of time with your child she asks, “But is it too much of a good thing?”.  She also says that mom clubs can be bad or good, depending on the mothers - the choices you make for your child may seem wrong to you after talking to the other moms.  All in all, she says to have confidence in your parenting style.

I really enjoyed reading this article because it does dissolve any of a number of myths that moms in our society believe.  Really, we need to be less hard on ourselves, we are doing the best we can and learning all of the time what works and what doesn’t.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26871349/

I have been spending a lot of time lately using my new igoogle calendar.  I actually love it.  I’m quite illiterate when it comes to computers and software, but finally get this.  It has really helped me out, even when I didn’t use it one day.  Know how?  Well, I was sharing my schedule with my husband at work and he called to remind me of an appointment that he saw on there.  Wasn’t that sweet?  It really helps keep us connected in the scheduling department.  As you all know, with kids - even without kids - life can get pretty hectic with doctor, dentist, college, and church appointment as well as your kids’ school functions, kids extracurricular activities, not to mention any dates with friends or colleagues you might try to plan.  Whew!!  That was a lot to say.  But, take a look at your calendar.  I’ll bet it’s loaded with things to do.

Keeping up with the placing of special dates on your calendar, as well as the annual stuff like birthdays and anniversaries, can be a pain in the neck.  But, just remember, if you check your calendar every day and put stuff on it right away after you make your appointments, you’ll be saving yourself a lot of stress later on.  I just put about a ton of dates for the kids on our calendars and, wow, what a lot is going on in our lives.  We don’t even do sports!!  It seems like it’s getting worse the older the kids get, too.  It’s kind of nice to be able to plan ahead, though.  I have always been a procrastinator before, but now, the calendar has sent me in the opposite direction.  Organized and on top of stuff.  But that doesn’t mean I don’t get behind once in a while on other parts of my life!!  Hey, at least I am where I am supposed to  be, right?  How about you?  Do you use your calendar?  Start using it.  It’s a great tool to manage your life.

Today I’d like to write about being a stay at home mom.  Sometimes it gets lonely.  My kids are in school full time now.  When at least one of them was home part time I had somebody to talk to.  But really, it’s not at all like talking to another grownup -  unless I got a job again.  I am finally getting back into the adult world a little more, but will never really be all the way back in.  I’ve rekindled some old friendships as of late.  My old friend is becoming closer to me now.  We have have to check schedules to go out to lunch once in a while.  I’ve been making some new friends, too.  I never really had too many friends, you know, like the kinds you have in high school.  The women I’ve met through the kid’s activities like girlscouts, church events, and school friends, have become my friends, so that’s a plus.  I’m not the most outgoing person out there - kinda shy - so making new friends is a challenge for me.  And then, there is my husband.  He’s my friend and the one I talk to the most, but often it’s an interrupted conversation.  You know what I’m talking about, where the kids want your attention.

So, being a stay at home parent has it’s fun times, lonely times, times where you want to be with a grownup and busy times.  They are all a part of the lifestyle.  Staying at home is a sacrifice you make for your children and I believe it’s better for them in the long run.  You raise them the way you want to, not the way someone else wants to.  I believe there can be help - grandparents and other family members can help out - but the majority of the time the parents should bring up the children that they decided to bring into this world.